Aladdin's Lamp
by trinfinity2001
Summary: Post-Coda, Janeway and Chakotay have to figure out how far to take things. A smut-free (sorry not sorry) slow burn about the lousy choices powerful people have to make. Part I of my "Three Wishes" series.


They'd just been celebrating life. Or, at least, that was the lie she'd told herself as the evening had unfolded.

It was just a moonlight sail on Lake George.

And just her hand on his chest.

And just his hands under her dress.

It was just a celebration of life, he'd said as he asked her to spend the following evening on the holodeck with her.

_Lies, lies lies…_

Now, she stood in her bedroom, the expression on her face wistful as she looked back at the figure in the mirror. The black chiffon dress was just formal enough, its shoulder-baring silhouette just provocative enough, its knee-length skirt just demure enough to let them keep the lies they were telling themselves.

Her sister had once mentioned that men loved seeing a woman in an off-the-shoulder dress because it gave the illusion that the dress was about to fall off. With the way it embraced her body, though, Kathryn had no doubt that the dress wasn't going anywhere by itself. If her relationship with her first officer had been a garment, this would be it; the black dress gave a tantalizing sample of what might be and yet she would stay in control.

_More lies. _

The door chimed. Excitement bubbled up inside her and she had to slow herself down as she strode into her living room. She personally opened the door for him, its panels parting quietly. The sight of the figure standing in the doorway took her breath away.

Chakotay stood in the corridor in a tuxedo with tails. The white shirt and tie he wore were a dashing contrast to his warm features. She was stunned speechless, and judging by the look on his face, he wasn't the only one. She stepped aside to welcome him in and the doors closed behind them.

Away from prying eyes and ears, he looked her up and down. "That's…quite the dress," he commented approvingly, drinking her in. If they ever got home Kathryn was going to have to thank her sister for her sartorial advice. "Don't get me wrong, you look good in the uniform. But it's one hell of an improvement over the pants."

This made her laugh. "Thinking of changing the dress code on board?" she joked.

"I wouldn't complain. Not sure where you'd keep your phaser, though." A smile pulled at the corners of his lips.

Kathryn smirked. "A girl has her ways," she said, and snatched her black velvet clutch off her dining table, brandishing the bag. "Plenty of space for a phaser," she said playfully. "But if you're going to say I need the rifle, then I'm going to need a bigger purse."

His smile became broader, lighting his face and making his eyes crinkle at the corners. "Alright, I'm convinced," he responded, grinning and still playing along. "Let's change the dress code."

She beamed. Yes, the physical affection they'd shared was divine, but there was something sublime about being able to completely level with another person, to laugh and joke and just be happy. "So where are we going, Chakotay? You've got me in suspense," she said, then added teasingly, "And not to mention, very high heels."

He laughed. "Don't worry, we'll be sitting down almost the entire time."

_And maybe lying down for the rest? _She thought.

The mental whiplash was fierce and quick. _Dammit, where did that thought come from?_ Last night they'd felt no need to rush anything; she'd cheated death and now life seemed full of time and opportunity, the way there had been on New Earth.

Maybe that was the reason she couldn't take her mind off her body. Or his.

_Be patient_, she reminded herself.

"Ready?" he asked, smiling indulgently and offering her his arm. She took it, reveling in the tingling feeling where her fingers touched his body.

"Always."

#

The holodeck doors opened and he ushered her in. She stepped forward into an old Earth city at twilight, where the air was warm and the breeze gentle. In the distance, the golden, onion-shaped domes of an oddly familiar building glowed in the fading sunlight. People in their evening best milled around outside a large theater. Kathryn looked around, taking it in, trying to figure out where they were.

"You clearly enjoy ballet," he explained. "I figured you would appreciate a performance." He reached dramatically into the inner pocket of his dresscoat and produced two paper tickets. She took hers and read it.

_The Bolshoi Ballet presents:_ _Joy Womack in Swan Lake._

The gesture took her breath away. Ballet lessons may have been no picnic, but a dozen years of lessons and hundreds of hours on pointe had given her an appreciation for the art that had stayed with her.

_"_I read that when it came to ballet, no one's better than the Russians," he explained. "Womack was a prodigy. I hope you'll enjoy it."

She marveled at the fact that this romantic man was the same rage-filled human being she'd been sent to capture.

_I don't deserve him, _she thought, and _I certainly don't deserve this. But I'm sure as hell going to enjoy it. _ "Chakotay, I know I'm going to love it. Thank you." She tilted her head up and kissed him tenderly, a gesture which made his face light up like the dawn. He took her hand, and they entered the theater.

#

They'd left the performance and wandered the majestic halls of the theater, laughing and drinking, telling stories between furtive glances and easy kisses. But before long, with tired tongues they both agreed to leave the theater. The ballet had been wonderful, the whole evening, spectacular. But it was the illusion that neither of them had a care in the world apart from each other had been divine.

_And that illusion is the biggest, fattest lie of all, _she thought_. _

They reached the main staircase, and suddenly her feet couldn't move for reasons that had nothing to do with the height of her heels. He kept going as she stayed frozen in place on the thick red carpet. He turned around to look up at her, looking down at him.

She wondered if she looked as lost as she suddenly felt.

"Coming?" he asked.

"Where, Chakotay?"

He shrugged. "I figured you might like to go for a walk."

"And then what?" Her face was suddenly etched with the fear that she realized had paralyzed her on the steps.

He turned around and rejoined her on the top step. "I don't know. But I don't think you do, either."

How he could read her so well astonished her. She lifted one foot up, yanked off her black heel and proceeded to do the same with the other foot before sitting down. He joined her on the step. She stared down at the staircase and the long red carpet covering its steps, and sighed.

"I suppose it was foolish to think we could put the genie back in the bottle after New Earth," she led. She turned and looked to him, holding his brown-eyed gaze with her blue one, looking at him as much as a friend and lover as her trusted advisor. "I want you. You want me. What do we do, Chakotay?"

"Who says we have to put the genie back in the lamp?" he asked seriously.

Her eyebrows snapped together. "Are you saying, we should have a public relationship? You know we can't."

"No, actually," he answered. "I'm saying, I think we should let ourselves enjoy this for what it is. Yesterday wasn't easy for either one of us. We're both a little out of sorts and probably will be for a few days. Maybe we need to just accept that." She tilted her head and looked at him, incredulous.

"And if it's more than a few days? How long should we keep going, Chakotay?," she asked, trying to stay calm. "Until we get our happily ever after? Until one of us throws the other out an airlock during a breakup? Is it until the crew finds out, or until the next time I get killed?"

"You nearly got killed," he reminded her, his voice tense in memory of something he clearly wished he could forget. "Trust me, it was no picnic to watch." He looked right at her. "Aladdin only got three wishes. Maybe that's all we get, too."

Her eyebrows snapped together in confusion. "I don't follow."

He shifted on the staircase, settling in for a longer conversation, but all the while his eyes never left hers. "New Earth was the first wish, the first dream come true. This was our second wish. Having something so monumental to celebrate gave us a chance to remember how we felt on New Earth, even if it's only for a few nights."

She looked at him curiously, following his logic to its conclusion. "So what's the third wish, then?"

"Getting home, and seeing where life there takes us. Somewhere together, I'd hope," he added.

A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, then fell into a look of profound sadness. "I can't ask you to wait that long," she whispered.

"Of course you can. You're the Captain," he said, smiling genuinely. She looked at him, utterly shocked at his reaction. He'd wanted a relationship as much, if not more than she had. He had brought her the rose yesterday, making the first move to rekindle their relationship. How was he letting go of this so easily?

He shifted on the stairs again, resting his arms on his knees and folding his hands. "I heard rumors after we got back from New Earth," he said, "that you and I were doing more than just our daily briefings in your ready room."

The gossip from some of the crew had stung. She'd tried so hard to earn their trust by being the quintessential professional. Evidently, she'd failed. "I heard those rumors too," she said sadly, looking down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze.

"I was more than a little angry," he continued, "But I imagine it was worse for you. You need the respect of the crew. You _want_ it, Kathryn. You wouldn't be who you are if you didn't. _I_ respect that. More to the point, I love you for it. And that's why I know that the genie has to go back in the lamp. We've pushed the envelope these past two days about as far as we can push it."

_No!, _a voice inside her wailed._ We've just gotten started!_

B_ut _he was right and she knew it. More than that, he knew what was right for her.

"You understand?" she asked, shocked.

He nodded. "Yes. I'll admit though that I'd prefer to put the genie back tomorrow morning instead of tonight," he added. "Then, maybe we could say goodbye to _us _properly?"

Her body rose with the bittersweet choice he was offering her, and yet it was no choice. She smiled, her decision made in the instant he'd asked. "Maybe it's 'so long,' then," she corrected, "and not 'goodbye.'"

Chakotay returned her smile. "I can live with that."

He got to his feet and extended a hand to her. She took it and rose to her feet as well, her eyes locked on his. His handsome visage left her breathless and she felt drawn onto her tiptoes, closing her eyes and the distance between them. Her arms wrapped around him and they kissed, the scene around them forgotten as they lost themselves in each other. She tried to memorize him by taste, by touch, by the feeling of his lips on hers.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" she whispered between kisses.

He pulled back just far enough to speak, answering, "Got me lost 70,000 light years from home and then had the nerve to try to die on me."

She could see he was smiling that beautiful, beaming smile. _Well, isn't that the truth, _she thought, and laughed.

He dropped down to pick up her shoes and handed them to her.

"Shall we?" he asked.

She smiled. "We shall."

With her shoes in one hand and his hand in the other, they walked down the steps of the theater and out into the holographic night.


End file.
